One of the most common things couples need to discuss before their ceremony is how they will do their vows. Most couples are not thinking about this at all when they begin planning their wedding and slowly, the wedding date creeps up on them and they realize they need to make a decision. Do they want to go with traditional, “repeat after me” vows, or their own, personalized vows?
There are pros and cons to both. If you are bad with words, get too nervous, or just plain wanna get married ASAP, consider traditional vows. Just let your officiant say the vows, you repeat them and boom, you are married!
However, if you are the type who does not have a hard time with words, likes to speak, and is really romantic (that is definitely helpful!), consider writing your own! Writing your own can be a fun practice because they are more personalized and you can tailor them specifically to your life as a couple.
Oftentimes, couples have gone through certain things in their lives that leads them closer. It might have caused a problem at some point, or maybe it was a joy that brought them together. Whatever it was, it defines their lives and is worth mentioning (or at least implying in an private way that is special to you two) in your vows. It shows your new spouse you care, are listening and know that this is impactful to you.
Even if you are not the “wordy” type, you can still write your own vows. Some people are totally free spirited and just need to take the mic and they know what they are going to say. Or some people even just wing it right then and there. You do not have to be that way! If it is easier for you, write your vows out, with time, and practice them. Stand in front of a mirror, speak into it and check your pronunciation, your timing, and your body language.
Something else that is awesome about writing your own vows: you can later print them out and hang them up! There are so many things you can do with them, but having them as a reminder in your room is a lovely touch to your home. Or maybe you want to hang them up with a wedding portrait between them and place them out for your guests to see. Whatever you do, be sure not to just throw them away after the wedding.
The easiest way to use them is that hanging and framing method. Just print them out on the same color paper and the same font. Then buy two matching frames and put them inside. Now just hang them up wherever you like. It’s a beautiful touch for your home!
If you are writing your own vows and want some pointers, we have some to help you today! Check them out below and let them assist you in this amazingly special process. Do not trivialize it, vows are serious and mean something deep in this day and age! Take advantage of the opportunity to tell your new spouse what you truly mean!
- Choose what kind of vows you want to write.
There are traditional style vows or more modern vows. Do you guys want to create a template together and just personalize it a bit, or do you want to each create something totally different on your own? There is no right or wrong way to do it, just be sure that you do something you are comfortable with. Remember this is your day!
When deciding what to do, remember to discuss what route you want to take with them. It would be a tad embarrassing to have the bride’s vows be serious and tear jerking while the husband’s are a hoot. Either way is fine, just decide if that matters to you!
- Think long and hard
Take some time to yourself to process your thoughts, ideas and what you want your vows to disclose. How does your soon to be spouse make you feel? Do they invoke any type of emotion in you? Do they empower you? Let them know as you begin your vows!
What do you want to promise them? Remember vows are not all about what you feel towards them, but what you will be promising to do for them for the rest of their lives. Make sure your words count! These are meaningful!
- Practice Makes Perfect!
After you have your vows down on paper, practice them! Do not just say them in your head, but actually read them out loud. Think about how they sound. Are there any words that are difficult to pronounce? If you think you will slip up, consider changing it. Is there any part that is a bit confusing, or doesn’t make sense? Take it out.
Analyze your vows and make sure they truly say everything you feel and mean. If something does not feel right, do not say it! Change it to show what you have to say!
- SLOW DOWN
Everyone is nervous when saying their vows. It is a serious moment, usually filled with emotion. Sometimes you cry (carry a little tissue just in case!), and other times, you just get overcome with the moment. Because of that, we tend to fly right through our vows. Don’t let that happen to you!
You have spent so much time planning these vows and coming up with the perfect words to share with your spouse. Slow down, enunciate well, and enjoy the moment. It is so worth it!
These four tips should help you get through writing and reciting your vows, start to finish! They are simple tips, but some that should truly help you get through it all without any glitches.
If there is one piece of advice we can give you, it is to enjoy the moment! This is something so sacred and special. Don’t trivialize it. Give it the meaning it deserves and enjoy every little bit of your wedding day!